All About Manchester

Fluff's the word

Croydon-born comedienne Lucy Porter has come a long way since her virginal gigs at Manchester's Frog and Bucket, but although she has ditched her clothes for her latest show, she has kept the fluff. As her spring UK tour brings her to the Lowry, the 36-year-old gagsmith bares all to All About Manchester.

Although you are now based in central London, you are no stranger to Manchester, are you?

No, I spent some of the happiest years of my life in Manchester. I went to the University of Manchester between 1991 and 1994, where I studied English and did a bit of social anthropology on the side, as well. Then I stayed in the city, working at various places, until 2000, when I moved back to London. I was all over Manchester, mainly south Manchester. I started off in Fallowfield, at the halls of residence, and ended up in Chorlton for a couple of years.

Is this where you started doing stand-up?

Yes. The first place I ever played was the Frog and Bucket, which is now a big successful comedy club, but when I started it was in a quite rough area. And there used to be a place called Band on the Wall. Is that still around?

It's been closed for many years but it's actually reopening in September.

Oh really? Oh gosh. Is Ian still in charge of it? He's lovely. That was a place I used to love. In recent years I've been back and played all the universities, the Comedy Store and various other places. It's always great to come back, although Manchester has changed almost beyond recognition since I've been away.

Lucy Porter, comedy, All About Manchester

When did you realise you were funny enough to make a living out of it?

When I started making a living out of it. Before that, I didn't have any self-confidence in my material or in my ability to perform. It started off being quite an expensive hobby - I was based in Manchester and went out to gigs in Glasgow, Edinburgh and London, so I had to pay for petrol and train fares. Gradually, I started to make a bit of money and I thought 'wow, I must be alright'. It took being professional and being paid to make me feel I had a future in this.

In addition to being an established stand-up comedienne, you are also a sought-after comedy writer. Which do you prefer - writing or performing?

I like both. If I only performed, then I'd go mad and be an alcoholic because I'd be on the road all the time. If I only did writing, I think I'd be a little frustrated because I like the limelight and the showing off aspect of performing.

You were one of the lead writers on ITV's Headcases. Which character was your favourite?

My favourite characters were the dames - Helen Mirren and Judi Dench - whom I turned into loud Croydon girls. I did them as the kind of girls that I grew up with, and it was quite cathartic because I put a lot of the bullying that went on when I was in school into the mouths of two theatrical dames.

Is there anyone who's off limits to you as a gagsmith?

Well, Lorraine Kelly. I love her too much to parody her. And Fern Britton - I think she's had a hard time, so I'd lay off her [laughs]. But other than that, not really. Anyone's fair game, particularly politicians.

Are you really as chirpy as you appear on stage or do you get grumpy like normal people?

I'm the worst combination because I'm chirpy and cheerful, but then I get quite depressed, as well. Day to day I'm quite cheerful, but then I'll have a couple of weeks when I can't get out of bed. I save up all my misery for big, concentrated lumps.

What gets you down?

Sometimes I go through these periods when I'm incredibly, acutely aware of the sadness of life, and everything seems unbearably poignant and anything can set me off - I'll cry watching How Clean is your House. So I do the drama queen thing, where I lie in bed for a couple of days paralysed with misery, and then I get up again and I'm fine.

Is there anything in particular that keeps you up at night?

I sleep terribly well. I can sleep through most of the day, as well. In fact, I had only just woken up when you called. But I do worry about all sorts of things. Because I'm quite obsessive, if I decide that something is worrying, the price of fish for example, then I'll be able to worry for hours and hours on end, and turn it all around in my head and get very distressed about it. But then, after I've done that for a few days, I forget all about it.

When was the last time you laughed and who with?

[Yawns] This morning I laughed because my boyfriend had to wake up very early and go to work, and I found that incredibly amusing [laughs]. Because I'm quite cruel.

What is guaranteed to put a smile on your face?

Dogs. I should probably have a baby, but instead of that I've become obsessed with dogs. And I can't even have one because I travel too much. I've been glued to the YouTube coverage of Barack Obama and his pup. President Obama is alright and everything, but his dog is the real star for me.

What's not funny?

There's nothing that's taboo. If you're a gifted enough comic, you can make anything funny. I'm not, so I tend to stay clear of controversial things.

We beg to differ, but moving on... Your new show, The Bare Necessities, has been described as your 'least fluffy, most thought-provoking show to date'...

Well, that's a bit of a lie, really. It was less fluffy. I wrote a show that was a bit more political and angrier, and then I started performing it and it went fluffy. I can't help it; my comedic voice is fluffy. So yes, there's a bit about the economy in it and there's a bit about politicians, but if I'm completely honest, it's still quite fluffy.

Could you tell us a bit more about the show?

I came up with the idea of doing an anti-materialism show while the economy was riding high. And then the economy collapsed in on itself and I was left with a show that was no longer relevant, so I had to rework it. And now it's mostly about inciting people to loot and create civil unrest, really. Because I think we should probably be a bit angrier and a bit more rebellious. So that's the premise of the show.

You don't wear much on the show posters. Is there any nudity in your show?

The audience and I are all completely nude throughout the show [laughs mischievously]. No, the show is called The Bare Necessities, so I thought it'd be sensible to be nude on the posters.

Talking about bare necessities, what are three things you can't live without?

Biscuits are my staple food so three things I can't live without are Jaffa Cakes, Chocolate Digestives and Jammie Dodgers.

Who would love The Bare Necessities?

I think it appeals to pregnant women. It's like...pregnant women crave it [laughs]. But it will appeal to everyone who is a bit sick reading about the credit crunch.

Can you think of anyone who should probably stay away?

Well, bankers. But they can't really afford to go out anymore anyway.

Lucy Porter's The Bare Necessities comes to The Lowry on May 10. Tickets cost £14 and you can book by calling 0870 787 5790.

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